Lover of Words, Thirsty for Descriptions: Expressing My Inner World

Jan 7, 2024

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Right at this moment, as I sit here typing away, I'm feeling a unique blend of emotions. It's a mix of contemplation, curiosity, and a dash of restlessness. You see, I've always been one to wonder why people often hold back their thoughts and feelings, unable to speak their minds openly. Conversations, after all, hold the power to mend bridges and build connections. Yet, they sometimes remain unspoken, locked behind closed lips, buried deep within.

The sensation of writing, for me, is like an endless stream. It's as though words flow effortlessly, much like pouring a steaming cup of black coffee for a myself after an exhilarating gym session. The aroma of freshly brewed thoughts fills the air, invigorating my senses with each stroke of the keyboard.

In this room where I find myself, there's a world of knowledge and imagination at my fingertips. The walls are lined with books—self-help guides for personal growth, steamy romance novels for those stolen moments of passion, but my eyes always gravitate toward the rows of poetry. The pages seem to beckon me, and my favorite poets like Rupi Kaur, Charles Bukowski, Edgar Allan Poe, and others stare back at me, their verses silently pleading to be touched, to be read aloud, to breathe life into their written souls.

Taking a leap of faith, I decide to explore the work of a poet I've never encountered before, R.H. Sin. Instead of reading linearly from start to finish, I choose to leap from page to page, hoping that the words would serendipitously resonate with me. To my surprise, it makes perfect sense, almost as if the words were written just for me. I realize that perhaps I'm writing this not only to share but to understand, to grieve, to feel, and most importantly, to feel understood.

Recently, a close friend self-published her own poetry book, an idea I had shared with her years ago, a dream that I had contemplated but never quite pursued. Witnessing her courage to bring her words to life ignited a fire within me, a reminder that I too have dreams to chase and conquer. I am meant to leave a small piece of myself behind, to be a book snuggled on a shelf, waiting to be pulled out and read by a stranger gazing at the moon, just as I often do.

My theme for this year is to create. To constantly create. To create blogs, poems, memories, experiences, adventures. To create a reality where my dreams simply come true because they are already here existing at this exact moment. I hope you as a reader falls in love with yourself, that you realize your worth. That you strive for your dreams. Remember to feel, get lost and find your way in homes you’d never discover if you didn’t step outside your comfort zone. Written with all of my love, Spideypj.